the earth teasing other planets for having “no life”
“may” contain nudity? either it does or it doesn’t don’t waste my fucking time
don’t try to guilt trip me i have no soul so it doesn’t work
still not sure what exactly math is
stalking a girl on facebook is so much easier than stalking a guy on facebook because girls will dedicate an entire 200 photo album to that time when they walked to dunkin donuts with their best female friend for life and guys will just have 20 pictures in total that are all highly unflattering self...
my inner goddess doesnt want to do her homework
shania twain is just stupid for not naming her son choo choo
once kim kardashian had a mild breakdown because she lost a diamond earring in the ocean imagine her trying to raise a child
they booked a juggalo, not a juggler for my little cousin’s birthday party he’s been doing whippets and screaming “woo woo” for 20 minutes everyone is crying
when you try to backspace out text and get taken back a page
3 more weeks until i dont get laid on valentines day
Why have a pop quiz if you can just pop you’re pussy?
I don’t understand why it is so difficult for you to take a joke considering you are one.
sext: we’re going to bop bop bop bop to the top
my phone’s dying and i’m jealous