I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t have 2020 vision.
I play the Sims to escape reality and live impossible fantasies—like having a house and job.
Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
It took me 23 years to realize that “be there or be square” is because you’re not a-round.
“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’”
I always forget the existence of pears until I see or hear one getting mentioned.
Why don’t jedis turn off their opponents lightsabers by force pressing the button?
At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied “dark white”
The life of a pet owner: “What are you eating? OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU EATING???”
If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”
The word “nun” is just the letter “n” doing a cartwheel.
If you replace the “W” in Where, What, and When with a “T”, you answer the question
The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.
If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.