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guess what word rhymes with “bro pain.”its “fuck off rose stop playing with my memories.” 
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  • Dad:Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad:Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad:Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad:Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad:Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad:Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad:I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad:Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • ...
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