- If you're taller than your mom, you should call her a minimum
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
“iM soDRunk I Cant TYPe LOL”
Why do I feel like bombing, officialunitedstates, pemsylvania, and bewbin are in a secret text post club?
*murders somebody* *hides the murder weapon in a pudding factory vat* *gets questioned by the police* Me: “The proof is in the pudding lol” Police: lol Judge: lol Inmate: lol
*at drivers test* of course I have experience driving sir I play Mario kart all the time
Walk around Nazareth Become friends with Messiah ??? Prophet
Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and -
"there is no man in this world who can combine both swag and class in perfe…"
When your teacher asks the class a difficult question and your crush gets the right answer
when you hit character limit
"Blaziken"- cool fire Pokémon "Blazeitken"-Barbie encouraging bad choices
Hey haha maybe private conversations are private for a reason idk man haha
when my mom says we can get pizza for dinner