- me on a date:what do you think of Dutch?
- date:it just sounds so ugl-
- me, shoving breadsticks into my orange purse:dit was heel gezellig maar ik moet nu gaan
- me on a date:so what are your thoughts on the German language?
- date:it's so harsh and angr-
- me, shoving breadsticks into my purse:sorry ich muss weg tschüss
Me on a date: fuck, i forgot my purse!!Them: thats ok, i’ll pay for you Me shoving bread sticks down my shirt: you dont understand!
- me, on a date:so, have you read Pride and Prejudice?
- them:no, who reads classical literature anyway
- me, shoving breadsticks into my purse:i'm sorry but you have proven that you are the last person i could be prevailed upon to date
- me on a date:so how do you feel about feminism
- them:not happy with it to be honest
- me, shoving breadsticks into my purse:sorry i have to -
- them:i feel like most feminist spaces still aren't inclusive enough of women of colour, trans women, lbpq women, women with disabilities,
- me, slowly returning breadsticks:go on
- Aziraphale, in his bookstore:Hello, how can I help you today?
- Customer:I'd like to purchase this bo-
- Aziraphale, shoving books into his purse:sorry you have to go home right now immediately
- date:*is wearing shoes*
- me:*uses breadstick to gesture to their shoes*
- me:i've got one question for you,
- me:whAT ARE THOSE??
- <p><b>My date, an alligator:</b> I don't really like orange juice.<p/><b>Me:</b> *shoving Oranges into my purse* I have to go right now immediately<p/></p>
- Katniss, on a date:*shoving breadsticks into her purse*
- Peeta, looking horrified:what are you dOING
- Alien:Take me to your leader
- Me:hold on lemme go find Donald Trump
- Alien:*shoving breadsticks into spaceship* the mothership needs me to go immediately
- date:can we get breadsticks for the table?
- waiter:we don't have breadsticks here
- me, yanking breadsticks out of my purse:good thing I brought my own
I got most of it now woooYou say that I’m too complicatedHung up and miseducatedWell I say nine-to-five is overratedAnd we all fall downI can’t sleep ‘cause my mind keeps racingMy chest hurts ‘cause my heart keeps breakingI’m so numb that I can’t stop shakingAnd we all fall downFrustrationDesperatio...
Sentence Meme [ smut & innuendo version ]
• "You look good enough to eat.“ • "Come here.” • "Is this okay?“ • "This is going differently than I imagined.” • "Tell me.“ • "I’m not expecting anything. I just want to…” • “Are you familiar with the color system?”• "...
SFW Romance Sentence Meme
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” “Death isn’t the end of true love, only a test.” “Dogs are always gonna chase cars, just like I’m always gonna chase you.” “Heaven without you would be hell.” “I can’t tell you how happy I am that...
Send me a symbol for a: ? - Drunk/drugged text ? - A heartfelt text ? - An emergency text ? - A bedtime text ? - A text while travelling ? - An angry text