• chamber of secrets •
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  • dumbledore:oh shit some kids have been petrified
  • sprout:luckily we just happen to be growing some SCREAMING TURNIPS which are really helpful for that
  • dumbledore:phew what a relief
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  • Rowena Ravenclaw:Wait, Salazar, how come you ended up with the shittiest common room? We dished out the money to make them equally AND you're the richest sod out of all of us
  • Salazar Slytherin:[thinks back to installing a giantass slide into the Chamber of Secrets and putting a statue of himself in it]
  • Salazar Slytherin:Uhhhhh... taxes [sweats heavily]
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