• conversations with my parents •
  • Dad:Wait, Loki's destroying all the frost giants even though he is one?
  • Me:Yup.
  • Dad:Why?
  • Me:He's trying to prove to his father, and by extension all of Asgard, that he's really one of them and that he's worthy and mansome like Thor. Also, self-loathing.
  • Dad:If I were his dad, this wouldn't have happened.
  • Me:If you were Loki's dad, our children would be born without eyelids.
  • Later
  • Dad:OH NO
  • ...
  • Dad:LOOK THERE HE IS
  • Me:Dad, you're really beginning to worry me. It's like all of Tumblr escaped from the internet and took possession of your body. I don't know whether to call an exorcist or the Geek Squad.
  • Dad:SHH TOM IS TALKING.
  • Me:*facepalm*
  • Dad:Wow, he's so different from how he is in The Avengers.
  • Me:Yeah.
  • Dad:OH NO WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIM?!
  • Me:I've moved on from worry to total fear.
  • ...
  • what i said:i like kpop
  • what my family heard:i only like asians. i am destined to marry an asian and move to an asian country and eat nothing but asian food and speak an asian language asian asian asian also i am officially changing my race to asian bye
quote quotes conversations conversation parents relate relatable
conversations mom dad conversation anger parents arguing
  • Me:Sis, I need medical advice.
  • My Sister MD:... for fanfiction?
  • Me:Yup!
  • My Sister MD:*sighs*
  • Me:So, listen - I need a body part that, when shot, will bleed lots, and the guy may even pass out from it, but other than the blood loss he'll be alright.
  • My Sister MD:I take it the penis is out of the question?
  • Me:... the penis is still necessary for important plot reasons later in the story.
infinite Hoya TT_____TT ;gifs ;infinite ;is2 ;hy
  • Son:So there's this girl I like... but I'm not sure what to do to make her like me back.
  • Me:Just be-
  • Son:-myself. I know.
  • Me:No. Just be Liam Payne.
  • Kid:Can I get my eyes checked? Things are starting to get blurry.
  • Parent:-Sighs loudly- Stop complaining already, you don't need glasses.
  • Kid:It's really hard for me to breathe sometimes. Do I have asthma?
  • Parent:For the last time you don't have asthma. Maybe if you worked out a bit more you could breathe better.
  • Kid:Can you wait for the allergy medicine to kick in? The pollen and dust makes my nose really itchy.
  • Parent:I have allergies too and you don't see me complaining.
  • Kid:I think I might be depressed...
  • Parent:What are you sad about? You have a good life.
  • ...
  • ME:Dad, I need to ask you something.
  • DAD:What? Do you need money? I cannot give you money.
  • ME:
  • ME:I don't need money.
  • DAD:So?
  • ME:I need to ask you something in order to write it on tumblr...
  • DAD:Where?
  • ME:Tumblr... that site with the people who love you...
  • ...
my stuff
  • Mom:Kristie, what soda do you want, Pepsi?
  • Me:Yeah... Wait. NEVER MIND I WANT SOME MOUNTAIINN DEWWW.
  • *few minutes later*
  • Me:Ma, which vegetable do you want?
  • Mom:I WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST BROCCOLI TOOOOOOO.
  • *few minutes later*
  • Mom:Hey, get out the list.
  • Me:why... So we DON'T FORGET MEAT, I BEG
  • ...
  • sister:we learned about martin luther king in school today
  • me:oh yeah? what did you learn
  • sister:that when the teacher talks about black people everyone looks at me
1x05 workaholics adam devine me with my parents
my dad said his new year’s resolution is 640x480
simon pegg amanda abbington twitter conversations with simon pegg and amanda abbington highland spring
  • Me:So who is your favorite dwarf? Kili, Fili, Bifur, Bombur, Bofur, Dori, Ori, Nori, Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin or Thorin?
  • Mom:.... How did you do that?
  • Me:Do what
  • Mom:Name them all off like that
  • Me:It's easy
  • Mom:Name Santa's reindeer
  • Me:Rudolph.... Dasher. Sneezy.
  • Mom:Sneezy is from Snow White.
  • me:who is that
  • me:what are you talking about
  • me:I don't know what that is
  • me:wait what
crude conversations with boys who fake laughter often.
He says ‘I don’t get it, why are you still a virgin at 24?’ He says ‘I don’t believe you, I’ve seen you walk, virgins don’t walk like that’ He says, ‘That ain’t natural, people are supposed to fuck.’ He asks ‘Why though? No offence though.’ I ask ‘When was your first time?’ He says ‘I was 12’ ...