• d&d •
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d-arkflorest
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"I’m just not sure I’m ready to commit to an angry mob this early in the morning." 
Rogue: (to DM) “That actually happened, right? There wasn’t anything weird in that food at that tavern?” DM: “It did indeed happen. Your half-orc barbarian managed to diplomacy-check the party out of a fight.”
the skeleton lightly slaps you
There’s like a terrible venn diagram etched in celestial fire, with one sphere labeled “what the party wants” and the othe...
Druid: My name is Erik with a k. NPC: *writes name down* And your last name? Druid: With a k. NPC: No I got that: Erik. What’s your last name? Druid: My last name is with a k. NPC: Wait…is your name Erik Erik? Druid: My last name is With a K. NPC:  Okay wait a minute, so to clarify ̵...
Any time you have a Benny Hill chase sequence, you know it’s been a good session.
d-arkflorest
My wife: You guys are gonna die. Me: GUYS, DON’T MAKE MY WIFE RIGHT! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING. DM: The orc screams “I WON’T BE KILLED BY THE LIKES OF YOU!” and plants his axe in his own face.
Yeah, but are you still technically an orphan if a wizard raises your parents as undead monstrosities?
You have, somehow, successfully engineered a way to safely dispense Alchemist’s Fire via pressurized hose…
Reblog if you are female and play D&D/Pathfinder/Table Top Games
I want to see how many of you are out there and to show there are more of us than people think.
The safe, however, was slain in battle. A nautical pyre carries if off to the mystical lands of Vaulthalla.
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d&d
Fighter: “I roll a perception check. Uh oh. Uhhh… 3.” DM: “You’re fairly certain that you don’t hear anything behind that door.” Cleric + Wizard + Rogue: “We go and listen at the door too!” DM: “Fine, you guys huddle at the door and all pus...
NO, TYING A DWARF TO YOUR CHEST DOES NOT COUNT AS YOU HAVING ‘HIGH-QUALITY DWARVEN ARMOR’!