"I’m just not sure I’m ready to commit to an angry mob this early in the morning."
Rogue: (to DM) “That actually happened, right? There wasn’t anything weird in that food at that tavern?” DM: “It did indeed happen. Your half-orc barbarian managed to diplomacy-check the party out of a fight.”
“the skeleton lightly slaps you”
“There’s like a terrible venn diagram etched in celestial fire, with one sphere labeled “what the party wants” and the othe...”
Druid: My name is Erik with a k. NPC: *writes name down* And your last name? Druid: With a k. NPC: No I got that: Erik. What’s your last name? Druid: My last name is with a k. NPC: Wait…is your name Erik Erik? Druid: My last name is With a K. NPC: Okay wait a minute, so to clarify ̵...
“Any time you have a Benny Hill chase sequence, you know it’s been a good session.”
My wife: You guys are gonna die. Me: GUYS, DON’T MAKE MY WIFE RIGHT! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING. DM: The orc screams “I WON’T BE KILLED BY THE LIKES OF YOU!” and plants his axe in his own face.
“Yeah, but are you still technically an orphan if a wizard raises your parents as undead monstrosities?”
“You have, somehow, successfully engineered a way to safely dispense Alchemist’s Fire via pressurized hose…”
Reblog if you are female and play D&D/Pathfinder/Table Top Games
I want to see how many of you are out there and to show there are more of us than people think.
“The safe, however, was slain in battle. A nautical pyre carries if off to the mystical lands of Vaulthalla.”
Fighter: “I roll a perception check. Uh oh. Uhhh… 3.” DM: “You’re fairly certain that you don’t hear anything behind that door.” Cleric + Wizard + Rogue: “We go and listen at the door too!” DM: “Fine, you guys huddle at the door and all pus...
NO, TYING A DWARF TO YOUR CHEST DOES NOT COUNT AS YOU HAVING ‘HIGH-QUALITY DWARVEN ARMOR’!