- Dad:How do you know if someone is ticklish?
- Me:No idea.
- Dad:You give them a testicle
- xD
- By far the best dad joke yet
A woman is at her father’s deathbed. She hasn’t seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left.
"Dad, I’m sorry," she whispers.
"Goodbye, Sorry," he says, "I’m dead.”
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
We were driving past a cemetery and my Dad said in a dead serious quiet voice “I know something you don’t know about this place. The people living in this town aren’t allowed to be buried here.” And I was really confused so I asked why and he said
"Because they’re stil...
two dads have a conversation
"haha yes i’m going golfing on the weekend""hello going golfing on the weekend, i’m dad""hello dad, i’m dad""hello dad, i’m dad""hel?lo ?dad, ?i?’?m? d?a?d""h???e???l??lo? ?d??ad?,?? ??i??’m?? ?d???a???d??""H????E??L????L????O???? ????...
My wife asked me if I could stop singing ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis
I said maybe.
my Dad makes dad jokes but because hes a physics teacher theyre not common dad jokes
"hey dad, whats up?""Up is a directional vector with no force"
Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said
“Today’s a Son day huh?”
And I was like “yeah”
And he was like “huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday”
And I just laughed for like 5 minute...
I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL
AND HE SAID “I AM CHILL”
AND I SAID “I THOUGHT U WERE DAD”
I DAD JOKED MY DAD
I AM THE REVOLUTION
The Bee Joke
Dad: Why do bees stay inside their hives in winter?
Me: I dunno…
Dad: Swarm
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, “What’s this about?” The bartender replies, “Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks fo...
two dads tell their adopted son that he is adopted
he looks at them and bursts into tears
“i thought you were my fathers … but you were just faux pas”
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me today. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
