Playing Dungeons & Dragons:
DMing for a group of pure Power Gamers:
don't trust politicians who never played Dungeons and Dragons... what do they know about forming par...
you can’t ALL play lawful evil rogues
Cleric: I cast Insect PlagueDM: Wow, I accidentally typed “Incest Plague”Ranger: A plague on just your household!
- DM:Okay, I have completely prepared for every possible path the players will choose.
- Players:I'm sorry - did you mention a completely inconsequential object? We would like to use that in a way no logical person would to defeat someone we don't actually have anything against
“Critical failure. You kick yourself in the balls.”
DM: You guys find yourself in a forsaken tundra Mage: Im going to build a snowman! DM: Roll Mage: *Rolls a 1 on d20* DM: Congratulations you’ve set the tundra on fire somehow
Football is like Dungeons & Dragons. Every 30 minutes of real time is like 2 minutes of game time.
"Can I give him a lap dance?" "How the hell would you give a centaur a lap dance?! -Our orc rogue arguing with the DM
“DM: Ok, so the velociraptor is cuddling with you in your bed.”
DM: “The orb of light begins to escape”Ranger: “I roll to seduce it”Ranger: *Rolls 20*DM: *Sighs heavily*
“Would you be offended if I started looting?”
“A d100 is like a golf ball with bees inside of it.”
"I flirt with him" "…He rejects your advances" "I break his other leg."