The Bee Joke
Dad: Why do bees stay inside their hives in winter? Me: I dunno… Dad: Swarm
I left 3 notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend.They said “Will”, “you” and “me”.That’ll keep her busy whilst I watch sports.
I'd like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."
"A vodka, please.""Erm, this is McDonald's.""OK, a McVodka, please.
Oxymorons are basically complicated.
When a guy calls you hot, he's looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he's looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful he's looking at your heart.All three guys still wanna fuck you though.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?A rip off.
Row, row, row your boat,Underneath the stream,Haha, fooled you all,I'm a submarine.
My English teacher asked me to use 'harassment' in a sentenceI replied "I was in love with this girl and harassment a lot to me"
Failed my Health and Safety test this morning..One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?""Fucking large ones" wasn't the answer they were looking for.
The word 'Diputseromneve' may look ridiculous, but backwards it's even more stupid.
I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.
what did the boob say to the other boob? we are breast friends