- me:hey you wanna come over and nap
- You:Your ex is attractive.
- Partner:Which one?
my girlfriend just woke up from a nap and the first thing she said was “i forgot i still have chicken nuggets” and ate cold nuggets and went back to sleep and i don’t think i’ve ever loved someone this much
“Call me at 4 am, and tell me it’s because you want to hear my voice.”
my future partner is probably texting their bae right now about how they’re gonna be together forever. sike, see you in ten years bitch
Plot twist: he was shopping for himself..
DO NOT THINK OF YOUR CRUSH IN A CUTE CHRISTMAS SWEATER DRINKING HOT CHOCOLATE UNLESS YOU WANT UNBEARABLE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION