- gandalf:hey i just met you.
- gandalf:and this is crazy.
- gandalf:but i am looking for someone to share in an adventure so i'm gonna scratch a symbol in your door and tell some dwarves that you're a great burglar and they can count on you to be a perfect 14th companion on their quest to travel across miles of dangerous land and through goblin caverns and a forest full of giant spiders all so they can maybe kind of come up with some way to kill an enormous dragon and reclaim a load treasure lost a really long time ago because they are dwarves i guess don't ask me how they operate i am a wizard.
- gandalf:so join me maybe.
And when we fuck you don’t mind my s c a r s you trace them with your fingertips and make me forget why they’re there
*seduces you with marvel movies*
i can never decide if i care too much or not at all
Head cannon that mermaids use sign language instead of spoken words, because who the heck can hear people talking under water.
- secret government agent:*punches me in the face* say it
- secret government agent:say that channing tatum is attractive
- me:*spits in their face* fuck you
i’d rather post my secrets out to tons of strangers online than tell anyone at school
I feel like if the devil ever wanted somewhere to hide he could just go on tumblr and no one would suspect a thingI mean he could be all like “I am the Dark Lord Satan” and someone else would just be like “yeah me too high five bro”
i think im falling for you… maybe wintering.. summering perhaps
Sexuality: 50% straight. Maybe like 47%. Sexuality: [awkward shrug] [noncommital grunt] [avoidance of eye contact] Sexuality: Heterosexual* ((*terms and conditions may apply)) Sexuality: Depends on the phases of the moon and the positioning of the stars Sexuality: That is an excellent question. [st...