god i hate glee so much its such a stupid show it makes me so mad i dont want anything to do with it i fucking hate hate hate glee *sips tea aggressively* fuck glee
The Bee Joke
Dad: Why do bees stay inside their hives in winter? Me: I dunno… Dad: Swarm
What do you call a cheap circumcision?A rip off.
My English teacher asked me to use 'harassment' in a sentenceI replied "I was in love with this girl and harassment a lot to me"
Row, row, row your boat,Underneath the stream,Haha, fooled you all,I'm a submarine.
I left 3 notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend.They said “Will”, “you” and “me”.That’ll keep her busy whilst I watch sports.
I'd like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."
"A vodka, please.""Erm, this is McDonald's.""OK, a McVodka, please.
Oxymorons are basically complicated.
When a guy calls you hot, he's looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he's looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful he's looking at your heart.All three guys still wanna fuck you though.
vaginas are like the weatherif it’s wetit’s time to go inside
Failed my Health and Safety test this morning..One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?""Fucking large ones" wasn't the answer they were looking for.
The word 'Diputseromneve' may look ridiculous, but backwards it's even more stupid.
I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.
what did the boob say to the other boob? we are breast friends
So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library