zeus took fuck, marry, kill way too seriously
“i. athena dresses in cool, slick suits for office hours, and then after she clocks out, she beats her knuckles in on other people’s jawbones...”
“it takes centuries, but the gods forget. hades has distant memories of the dark: he takes his home with him, huddling in blankets under wha...”
“Greek myths mention several Islands of Women, where Amazons lived without men, only consorting with neighboring colonies of males at certain...”
“Not all gods.”
Persephone is the goddess of flowers and is adorable and smart and she probably only wears pastels and at the same time she’s the queen of hell and if that’s not life goals I don’t know what is
- Loki:Wow, it sure would suck if someone decided to do the thing, huh?
- Everyone else:Pretty much.
- Loki:I mean, it would really fuck shit up.
- Everyone else:Basically.
- Loki:Can you even imagine what would happen if someone actually did the thing? Like, wow. Everything on fire. People screaming and shit. Absolute carnage. Thor in tears. Freyja on a rampage. Odin crying into his eye patch. Just imagine.
- Everyone else:That's essentially the situation.
- Loki:Thank Asgard that no-one has taken it upon themselves to do the thing. I, for one, am gracious that the thing has not been undertaken yet. May it remain this way for literally hours to come.
- Everyone else:You've done the thing, haven't you?
- Apollo:“all my boyfriends are dead and my girlfriends keep rejecting me”
- Artemis:“dear brother have you ever considered celibacy”
- Apollo:[muffled strangled noises of horror]
The Greco-Roman Mythology Short List
A while ago, patrouclus asked me for a mythology-reading guide (like a what-should-I-read-first guide), so here goes. This is basically the syllabus for the intro myth class I teach for college freshmen. It’s kind of long (reasons my students are terrified of me, ahem), so the absolute must-reads ar...
when somebody makes a good greek mythology joke
Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set’s semen, then subsequently throws it in the river, so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then...
- Zeus:im gonna put my dick in it
- Everyone:dont put ur dick in it
- Zeus:toO LaTE
“eurydice smuggles immigrants across country lines she knows what it’s like having to stay behind because of someone else’s fuck-up medusa d...”