Shrek makes infinitely more sense if you ascribe to the theory that everyone is a PC in an RPG, and Donkey’s player managed to avoid a boss battle by rolling a nat 20 to seduce the fucking dragon
“Dwarves are into S&M; stone and masonry”
Player: I roll to see what the door is made out of. (*rolls a nat 1*) DM: You are convinced it’s made out of chocolate.
"Please tell me someone has Diplomacy.""Nope. Just Intimidate.""I guess we’re gonna have Batman-style interrogation for everything."
(Our party is walking down a dark alley when the rogue hears a noise.) Rogue: I draw my rapier.Fighter: I put up my shield.Cleric: I prepare a spell.Monk: I set myself on fire. Bitch, get at me. (He had a feat.)
“Rogue: “It’s not stealing if you have the key.” DM: “But you stole the key.” Rogue: “What’s your p...”
“So uh, your reflex is so low, you can get hit by still objects, but your fortitude is so high that if a venomous snake were to bite you, the...”
Playing D&D as a Bard during a boss fight
Reblog if you are female and play D&D/Pathfinder/Table Top Games
I want to see how many of you are out there and to show there are more of us than people think.