• 10k 50k 25k im laughing tho skrelp •
10k 50k 25k im laughing tho


87142 notes / 6 years 7 months ago
10k 50k 25k im laughing tho
stepping in a puddle while wearing socks
when you suddenly realise it’s 3am
pretty sure my chorus teacher hates me because every time we sing silent night and get to the line ‘holy infant so tender and mild’ i just lose it. so tender and mild. jesus is a tiny tender steak. the pastor adds a mild spice rub. serves him with a side of carrots and potatoes. mary did you know yo...
Ex queen turned pirate being hunted down by the king’s men and naming her all female ship “the clit” and when asked why she replies, because the king will never find it.
hey just so you know the FBI are conducting an investigation of the grand jury that didnt indict wilson. that means there’s a huge chance there’ll be a retrial. they’re also investigating the general racism of the police force. have hope. don’t stop fighting.
  • *walks past people who are laughing*
  • brain:they're laughing at u
  • me:they're 20 feet away and I don't even know them
  • brain:at U
  • me:shit ur right
@Californians even Mars has water now.
do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw i havent slept in three days
why are men so afraid of women having leg hair???????? women have to put up with ur chest hair and back hair and gross pubic hair and scratchy facial hair all the time and u dont shave that bc ‘it takes too much time’ like…????? ok thanks for ur hypocrisy u dried up sink sponge
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  • me on a date:so... haha... when did you realise your standards were this low? :)