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56092 notes / 7 years 8 months ago

59142 notes / 7 years 9 months ago

63285 notes / 7 years 11 months ago

*sniffs air* who unfollowed me

48290 notes / 5 years 11 months ago

student:hey government can I have some money to go to university
uk government:sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
scottish government:nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
us government:no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.

332850 notes / 5 years 9 months ago

Me: You:

89410 notes / 5 years 2 months ago

why do all women want a 6'0"+ tall guy with a 6 pack and a 6"+ dick? because satan. 666. y'all are demons. i just proved it. satan worshippers. illuminati.

101247 notes / 3 years 11 months ago

Teacher: “Why couldn’t you do homework?” Me: I was watching something important

139865 notes / 5 years 9 months ago

50 shades of fucked up

58908 notes / 5 years 6 months ago

we were in an elevator and there was a sign saying the maximum amount of people allowed in it was 21 and my dad was like “you could fit that pilots band in here”

76395 notes / 4 years 8 months ago

So apparently the Mishapocolypse happened again this year and I think it really shows that I’m following the right people that I didn’t see any of it on my dash

80311 notes / 4 years 8 months ago

1k * 5k 10k 15k 20k 40K 25k 30k 35k 45k solid this is a self portrait

49873 notes / 4 years 4 months ago