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56092 notes / 7 years 8 months ago
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*sniffs air* who unfollowed me
  • student:hey government can I have some money to go to university
  • uk government:sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
  • scottish government:nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
  • us government:no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.
Me:  You:
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why do all women want a 6'0"+ tall guy with a 6 pack and a 6"+ dick? because satan. 666. y'all are demons. i just proved it. satan worshippers. illuminati.
Teacher: “Why couldn’t you do homework?” Me: I was watching something important 
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50 shades of fucked up
we were in an elevator and there was a sign saying the maximum amount of people allowed in it was 21 and my dad was like “you could fit that pilots band in here”
So apparently the Mishapocolypse happened again this year and I think it really shows that I’m following the right people that I didn’t see any of it on my dash
1k * 5k 10k 15k 20k 40K 25k 30k 35k 45k solid this is a self portrait