- Me:Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.
- Dad:And that means you would have a male partner.
- Dad:Or a female partner.
- Dad:And that means you're bi.
- Dad:So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?
- Me:Did you just
BISEXUALS ARE NOT CONFUSED Bisexuals are not confused BISEXUALS. ARE. NOT. CONFUSED. BISEXUALS ARE NOT CONFUSED bisexuals are not confused god this is like the easiest concept ever you piece of shit douchewagon why can’t you just fucking accept it it’s absolutely infuriating
- Me:We need more plastic utensils to put in my lunch, all they have are sporks at school
- Me:Why do they even have sporks?!
- Dad:Because it would be pretty hard to stab someone with a spork
- Dad:You know if someone successfully murders someone with a spork the police won't arrest them
- Dad:They'll just let em' off cause it's too impressive
- Me:Well if you think about it sporks could be a terrifying weapon
- me:*notices a cab that just so happens to be the modern make of a chevy impala*
- me:is that what impalas look like anymore? that's an awful looking car.
- dad:you know, impalas used to be really nice cars. my friend had one when i was younger
- me:what year was the model?
- dad:uhh, '67 i think, with a really nice black paint job. yeah, they used to be beautiful cars, huge with four doors. then they modernized it and turned it into that *points to new impala* you have no idea how nice this car was
- me:i know how awesome impalas are, i want one really bad. well a classic anyway.
- Dad:Wait, Loki's destroying all the frost giants even though he is one?
- Me:He's trying to prove to his father, and by extension all of Asgard, that he's really one of them and that he's worthy and mansome like Thor. Also, self-loathing.
- Dad:If I were his dad, this wouldn't have happened.
- Me:If you were Loki's dad, our children would be born without eyelids.
- Dad:OH NO
IF YOU MISGENDER SOMEONE
DO CORRECT YOURSELF APOLOGISE THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK USE THE RIGHT NOUNS/PRONOUNS/NAMES FROM NOW ON DON’T THINK THEY SHOULD JUST ‘DEAL WITH IT’ SAY THAT IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU IT WOULDN’T BE A BIG DEAL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN
Season 8 Dean is basically everyone’s dad and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me Kevin stop giving me attitude this is what’s best for you Benny what did you do I told you to keep your nose clean Benny stop provoking Cas I will turn this Purgatory around Cas j...
- Dad:How do you know if someone is ticklish?
- Me:No idea.
- Dad:You give them a testicle
- By far the best dad joke yet
my dad just came into my room and laid on my bed so i proceeded to cover him in stuffed animals to cheer him up then mom joined