• A woman is at her father’s deathbed. She hasn’t seen him in years and now they only have... death dad humor jokes pun ? dad jokes IM NOT APOLOGIZING i'm dad tayngerous •

A woman is at her father’s deathbed. She hasn’t seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left.

"Dad, I’m sorry," she whispers.

"Goodbye, Sorry," he says, "I’m dead.”

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Congratulations, your Dad level is now 55!

Manliness increased by 2 Dad Humor increased by 5 Sneeze Volume increased by 7 decibels Ability to Relate to Kids decreased by 1 Need to Buy Lottery Tickets increased by 2 New joke unlocked: “Hi Bored, I’m dad!” New ability available for purchase: Power Sneeze

43036 notes / 7 years 3 months ago

Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday” And I just laughed for like 5 minute...

190443 notes / 6 years 11 months ago

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1794 notes / 7 years 1 month ago

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57679 notes / 7 years 3 months ago

A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father "Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this" "Dad, you don’t mean-" "Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*

167398 notes / 7 years 3 months ago

two dads have a conversation "haha yes i’m going golfing on the weekend""hello going golfing on the weekend, i’m dad""hello dad, i’m dad""hello dad, i’m dad""hel?lo ?dad, ?i?’?m? d?a?d""h???e???l??lo? ?d??ad?,?? ??i??’m?? ?d???a???d??""H????E??L????L????O???? ????...

95243 notes / 7 years 3 months ago

We were driving past a cemetery and my Dad said in a dead serious quiet voice “I know something you don’t know about this place. The people living in this town aren’t allowed to be buried here.” And I was really confused so I asked why and he said "Because they’re stil...

11315 notes / 7 years 1 month ago