• this guy left a voicemail for his friend while hal... duelistnet monstersnet lemonsquad2k14 disanimalnet dutchster •

this guy left a voicemail for his friend while hallucinating on ambien and well see the rest for yourself…

3832 notes / 5 years 5 months ago
"i’m not a feminist, i love guys!"
if a puppy killed my entire family, looked me in the eyes and whispered “you’re next”, i’d still say “awww look at his cute fluffy little legs! his lil feet!”
masturbation is a touchy subject
trying to sleep during the summer
never tell me you have a surprise for me if it’s not a puppy. i will always be disappointed unless you’re getting me surprise puppies
when you lean forward in the car the seatbelt is like “WAIT TOO FAST I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE” like aw someone cares about me
there’s no way i’ll forget this text post idea later
just a tip if you suffer from acne: wash your face with boiling water. it will kill off any bacteria present on your face
i have such a busy schedule. i may have to cut out “studying” to make room for “crying over tv shows” and “4 hour nap”
damn girl are you a spider? because i’m kinda scared of spiders
dutchster: did you know “burger”  is the dutch word for “citizen” i’ll have 2 cheeseburgers please *gets 2 dutch citizens covered in cheese*
when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep