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i choose to be single, you see. because, i’ve met too many boys who wanted to keep me close, keep me with them, safely tucked away, hidden under their wings. i’ve met too many boys who liked my intellect the way one likes a trophy, they liked being able to show it off at parties, they liked the sound of my voice in public - but not at home: baby, baby just please let it go and come to bed. i’ve met too many boys that loved my body, the length of my legs and bones in my hips, but they did not like the fact i counted calories, they did not like the fact that i was not carefree, reckless with abundance. i’ve met too many boys who loved my jokes, but when i say loved i mean they laughed to appease, and when i say jokes i mean things i said and meant them - like this is unfair, or this hurts me, or i am uncomfortable. i’ve met too many boys who loved looking at me, who loved my surface, but feared my depth. i’ve met too many boys i didn’t like, but thought i loved; too many of them made me feel guilty for wanting to be free, away from them, away from the hands that pulled me back, but never helped me up. i’ve met too many boys who stole too many of my days, too many hours i’ve spent apologizing for who i am, for not fitting a vision they had, a vision i played no part in helping them create. i choose to be single - it feels good you see, being happy in my own skin, it feels good not having anyone trying to claw their way in - you conquer from inside you see. i am single and i’ve never been less lonely. it took me 23 years, but i finally learned to enjoy my own company.

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1642 notes / 1 year 11 months ago
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