Dear Mom and Dad,
I’ve told you time and time again
that I could not remain on this earth,
That the dust in my ribcage needs to return to the ground it belongs to.
I’ve explained how I tried to live but I have failed,
Admitting to failure more than confronting success.
I’ve informed you that in time you will no longer have a daughter,
and I convinced you that I’m sorry that I can’t stay,
but the world keeps pushing me away.
I told you about my lack of energy,
It seems as if I am always tired.
Getting out of bed is a daily struggle.
I told you that I’ve never known true happiness,
And that I never will.
I told you that I will always be your baby girl
but sometimes people lose what they hold closest to their hearts.
But Mom, Dad,
With my pen to this paper,
I want you to know
I am not writing this as a suicide letter,
But instead to tell you how I was wrong.
I was so wrong.
I wasn’t going to die,
I am not weak,
I just did not know these scarred arms to be my own pillars of strength.
So tonight there will be no empty pill bottles,
Or slit wrists,
There will be no more hospital bracelets
Or suicidal ideation,
because tonight I’m replacing that blade with this pen,
To tell you that you were right,
I am alive.
I don’t ever want to forget that again
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