“It’s not being able to get out of bed because you don’t trust yourself to not break down if you do.”
It’s having break downs in the middle of the night in your room praying that your family doesn’t hear you.
It’s never being able to look at a razor or a pencil sharpener again without thinking about it and wanting it.
It’s obsessing over food and having panic attacks over the amount of calories in a stick of gum.
It’s losing your best friends because they couldn’t handle you and your “problems” anymore.
It’s faking a smile every single day just so you don’t have to explain why you look like you haven’t slept in days.
It’s sneaking off to the bathroom after every meal and lying about why you eat so much yet look like a corpse.
It’s never doing anything because you have no energy to even pick up a pencil and them beating yourself up because you’re a failure and will never amount to anything.
It’s hating yourself and being willing to do anything just to make it all stop.
It isn’t cute or romantic and it will never ever be fun or a way to attract people. It hurts and it’s deathly.
This is mental illness.
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