It was easy to love him.
Loving him was like watching rain patter onto the window of my car. He made me feel comforted, deep in thought. It was late night conversations about the future, and promises that we would always be in it together no matter the circumstance. It was memorizing the outline of his freckles, and the space inbetween his fingers. Inheriting his laugh, and falling into his words. Loving him was easy to fall into, he made it that way.
But leaving him was another story.
Leaving him was like pouring acid down my veins. It was countless nights wondering if I was just overthinking or if the red flags I saw were real. Leaving him felt like I was ripping out my lungs, which makes sense because I haven’t been able to breathe since I did it. He thought that it was easy for me, but it wasn’t easy being hurt time after time. Broken promise after broken promise. It wasnt easy to choose to grieve over someone still alive.
“I’m sorry to call but I just needed to know; Darling, was I really that easy to let go?”
“I don’t know when it happened, or why it happened. You just stopped. There were no more phone calls in the middle of the night when you c...”
“I am the girl before the girl. Because I am far too much of everything. But this will teach you what you want in someone. You will see t...”
“We are all endlessly soft for someone. You would love them in the middle of the night if they came to your door, slurring and bloodshot. Yo...”
“Stop pouring yourself into people who are not complete. They cannot hold your affection. You will only leak out their cracks and find yourse...”
“12:31am I thought I was over you… 12:32am I lied 12:35am Did you ever miss me, at all? 12:48am Why her? 1:28am Was I not good enou...”
“You are not hard to love. Say it to yourself, out loud. You are not hard to love. You are poetry in motion, you are every metaphor that I c...”
“I wish I was petite and cute But I will always be jagged around the edges and exploding with emotion I wish I was the kind of girl you̵...”