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… Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise…

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… Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise…
This is what I miss… not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen.
I am thinking of you what else can I say.
Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop...
Is that what writing amounts to? The voice your ghost would have, if it had a voice?
I exist. It is soft, so soft, so slow. And light: it seems as though it suspends in the air. It moves.
I am infatuated with the private life, and with anonymity; perhaps even invisibility.
There are some things about myself that I can’t explain to anyone.
I exist in two places.   here, and where you are.
I’ve spent so much time in my head and in my heart that I forgot to live in my body.
You are well within your rights to stand up, interrupt everyone around you and say ‘This is not who I am. This is not what I want. I’m sorry...
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do.