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greek gods

19462 notes / 4 years 10 months ago
mine myth mythology greek mythology Greek Gods greek myth mythedit modern mythology
  • Zeus:Don't fight Zeus. You'll only end up sleeping with him. On second thought, do fight Zeus.
  • Hera:Look, I'm not saying anyone is really going to try to stop you, but I am saying she is petty as shit and will dedicate the rest of your life to destroying you in other ways. Your call.
  • Poseidon:You could probably fight Poseidon. Dude is built like a brick shithouse but he'd think it was a good time and buy you a beer afterwards.
  • Demeter:Are you fucking kidding? She created a new season the last time someone really pissed her off. Do not fucking fight Demeter.
  • Hades:Fight Hades, but only in spring, and then ask to see pictures of his dog.
  • Hestia:Are you Satan
  • Aphrodite:Arguably the lowest reward to risk ratio on this list. What is even the point here. Might as well save us all some time and punch yourself in the groin.
  • Athena:If you must, a sneak attack is required, and even then you’re still probably boned. Alternately, distract her first with statements such as "Mozart is an overrated hack" and "Garfield is not funny."
  • ...
i. athena dresses in cool, slick suits for office hours, and then after she clocks out, she beats her knuckles in on other people’s jawbones...
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  • aries:ares (determined, impulsive)
  • taurus:hephaestus (kind, peaceful, has a jealous side)
  • gemini:dionysus (fun, lighthearted, easily misunderstood)
  • cancer:artemis (friendly, protective, sensitive)
  • leo:zeus (regal, in control and strong)
  • virgo:poseidon (noble, critical, and moody)
  • libra:aphrodite (attractive without trying, has a seductive nature, vain)
  • scorpio:hera (majestic, vindictive)
  • ...
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  • zeus:*looks at woman*
  • hera:hoe don't do it
  • zeus:*gets woman pregnant*
  • hera:oh my god