He’d been caught.
“You fool!” Loki shouted “Have you lost what small mind you, had, you …”
He broke off, inhaling sharply when two thick arms came around him from the side.
And Loki realized his mistake.
He had been talking to Thor while staring ahead.
Thor hadn’t stood there.
A piece of what the amazing SatansSin gave me for my birthday!!
I know it was 2 months ago but it’s never too late to show how grateful I am haha! (I hope you don’t mind if I post it bby^^)
The first inkling Thor got that something was wrong with his brother, was when Loki dropped the goblet Thor had been handing him, letting it shatter to a thousand pieces between them.
Loki has gasped and pulled away looking down.
“Thor, you oaf!” he cried in his rage, “Look at the mess you have made!”
Thor apologized profusely, and he bent down to pick up the shards along with Loki, taking them from him when Loki held them out to him to take.
There had been nothing wrong with that, nothing other than the fact that Loki hadn’t really been looking at him the whole time and that his hand has been held out rather than search for Thor’s
But it was quickly put aside when Loki went on about how Thor lost his balance after being hit with his hammer so many times on the head.
Thor had been offended and Loki had pressed on.
It had succeeded in distracting the first prince long enough and soon the man stormed off, leaving Loki at peace with himself as he picked up the book he had been reading
The second time had been slightly violent.
Loki had been lounging on his chair when Thor entered his room, loud and brash as usual.
“Brother!” he howled “It is a wonderful day, come join me for a race around the palace”
Thor knew Loki didn’t race, he knew he didn’t exactly prefer horse riding either, but there was nothing wrong in asking.
Loki took his time looking at Thor, closing the book and fixing his gaze on his brother.
“What makes you think I will say yes to that?”
Thor laughed and skipped over and Loki huffed as Thor sat on the arm of the chair, then groaned as Thor let himself fall back, landing on Loki’s lap.
“Because I asked nicely”
Loki smirked “This is you asking nicely?”
“Of course” Thor beamed “Want me to kiss you as well?”
Loki made a face “You are disgusting.”
Thor smiled, then tapped Loki on the nose, making the other blink.
“Come on” Thor beamed at him “Why don’t you come out, look at the skies, brother, the beautiful sun, the lack of clouds…”
“I rather like the clouds” Loki said, his head tipped to the skies “The sun is too bothersome”
Thor beamed at him and looked at Loki.
Loki was always strange, but at the moment, his head tipped up, his eyes shining in the sun, he looked beautiful.
Thor blinked and shook his head.
“So, you wish to come?”
“Can’t” Loki looked at him.
Thor yelped as Loki pushed him off his lap and onto the ground.
“I have to read this book and tell Father what I think”
“I will help!”
Thor sat up and took the book off Loki’s hand.
He had expected Loki to ask for it back, but the reaction he got was much different.
“No!” Loki shouted, lashing a hand through the air “Thor, give it back, it’s mine!”
Thor was so startled he obeyed instantly.
Loki, who had looked terrified for a moment, snatched the book to his chest and gazed at the floor.
“I think you should go”
Thor nodded, scared and bothered before he turned and ran out again, Loki’s frightened face imprinted on his mind.
The third time Thor felt something unreal was years later.
Loki was in his cell now, the actions of the past and their brotherhood long forgotten by the younger.
After what he had done with the Avengers, Loki had been sealed in here, magic and all, unable to get out of the pearly white prison his mother had insisted he get.
Thor was outside his cell, looking at him, watching as he sat with his back to the future king.
Loki had always ignored him, but something about this was different.
For the first time, Loki genuinely didn’t seem to know he was there and though Thor came into the line of his vision, the very corner of his eye, Loki didn’t make any sort of indication that he knew he was there.
Perhaps he was ignoring him, but that wasn’t the case because the moment Thor’s boot creaked, Loki went on alert.
He slowly looked up, closing the book he had been reading and turned his green eyes to his brother.
“Thor” he sneered “Have you ever tried not stumbling about like a drunk animal?”
Thor felt himself go red in the face, his cheeks becoming heated.
He scoffed and Loki smiled.
“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?”
“Why do you do this, Loki?” Thor asked “Why must you hurt and push me away when I have nothing but the desire to help you?”
Loki hummed, mockingly “Has it occurred to you that I do not wish to have you in my company? That your entire being is so repellant and all it takes is a glance at you to have my good mood withering?”
Thor had almost flinched at that and then turned, without a word, to leave.
Loki shook his head as he left then turned back to the book he had been holding in his hands, reading once again.
The next time Thor visited Loki, it was a month later.
And it was dark.
All the prisoners down in the cells were sleeping and Loki was possibly the most comfortable of them all.
Even though he was a prisoner, he was very well treated and Thor moved to where his cell was, raising a finger to his lips to silence the startled guard.
The man had been dozing.
Thor placed a hand on the man’s shoulder and nodded to the side.
“Rest, my friend” Thor whispered so as not to disturb those that slept “He will not do anything while he sleeps”
The guard nodded to him sleepily and walked off and Thor looked to Loki’s cell.
It was darkened and Loki was probably on the bed, sleeping.
He would not take kindly to having the lights wake him up.
Thor waved his hand over a pad, activating Loki’s cell.
The lights flickered and Thor hardened his heart against whatever Loki would say to him.
He walked closer, however, intent on talking to Loki, but froze.
Loki was not asleep at all and for a moment Thor feared Loki had known he was coming.
But that was not the case.
Loki’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling above, blinking slowly. He was humming to himself, very softly, the sound coming to Thor’s ears barely and shielding Thor’s soft gasp of surprise.
His knees were drawn up and a book was placed on them.
A book that had embossed paper, tiny bumps and dots littered the page and Loki’s finger moved over them.
Thor froze where he was, so many things making sense and horror crashing down on him.
Without a word spoken, Thor turned and fled, letting the lights close as he all but ran out.
He didn’t come to see Loki for days after, lost in his own misery.
It wouldn’t be what he thought, it could have been anything. Loki could have been studying it, researching that particular type of book.
Maybe he was just curious.
But nothing, nothing that Thor did would make him believe that the book did indeed belonged to Loki.
But at the same time, a certain memory came forth and before Thor knew what he was doing, he was making his way to Loki’s room.
Loki’s room was empty, save for the sounds that came from the lone god sitting on the bed, weeping.
Around him, littered and opened were all of the books Loki had read in his life time.
They were all the same.
Embossed, little dots on them.
And as Thor looked about the room, he found more things that bothered him.
Behind Loki’s dresser lay a long, slim stick.
Thor had always thought Loki neat, but the longer he looked, the more the pristine, perfectly neat condition of Loki’s room became like a wraith over him.
There were little dots everywhere.
Thor had never seen them, never taking the time to notice anything other than Loki’s obsessively clean room.
The drawers had dots on them, the wardrobe, hidden in the designs so clever that Thor would never had known if he hadn’t seen them.
He went further, they were in the bathroom, a trail of them on the bathtub, the sink, the tiny cabinets, everywhere.
When Thor went into his study there were more.
Everything was neat, everything was in place, nothing was moved, nothing that would make it hard for Loki to – to live.
Dots lined the scrolls he never let Thor touch, dots fixed on the bottom of the bottles Loki used in his experiments, bumps on the doors of the cabinets embedded in the walls.
And the most heartbreaking…
Dots on a large sheet, shaped into runes and letters that helped Loki write all those letters to him when he was gone.
Thor felt a lump in his throat and the book he had in his hand fell with a thud to the floor.
Thor bit his lip, looked around.
It was true.
Thor had never even noticed it, so involved was he in his own life.
He had never noticed it and now that was all he could see.
Loki not riding a horse, Loki not liking it when Thor dragged him out on hunts and made him get lost until he came to find him.
He saw Loki not bothered by the sun when he stared at a bird, he saw Loki training with his mother rather than his father.
It had been after a lengthy trip to Vanahiem that Loki returned to se Frigga in place of Odin.
His father had given him no real response when he asked him why it had happened, opting to train with him.
The whole family had been on the tarps and it was one of Thor’s cherished memory.
Thor heaved a broken breath and looked down at the book.
Gently, he reached down and picked it up, dusting it off before he turned and headed back.
He picked up all the books, put them exactly where he had found them, made Loki’s bed and walked out of the room, closing and locking the door behind him.
“How long?” Thor asked, his red rimmed eyes looking at his mother “When did this happen?”
Frigga was sitting at her table, making another book for Loki to read.
She punched dots into the pages as Thor sat opposite, looking hurt and confused.
A sad expression came over her face.
“When he was twenty three” she said “Do you remember that trip you took to Vanahiem?”
Thor nodded “Aye”
Frigga smiled “He was experimenting. He wanted to make you a potion that would heal you faster and some of the ingredients he used were like acid. He …”
Frigga bit her lip.
“Somehow he got it into his eyes”
Thor stared at her, his eyes filling with tears once more.
“They exploded in his face” her voice shook “And because he worked alone, no one knew. He lay there, for god knows how long and…”
Thor looked at her face.
“By the time he called for help, it was too late” she sniffed “the acid had already done its work.”
“They couldn’t do anything” Frigga wiped her eyes “He was using magic and the acid combined with that to make him …”
Thor’s lip quivered and he could have sworn his soul was in anguish but he said it.
Frigga nodded and looked at him.
“He didn’t want us to tell you” she said “We sent him off to Alfhiem, after that, remember?”
Thor nodded “He left a few days after I arrived”
“They have experts there since so many of them have the same impairment. Loki was always intelligent and quick to learn. He learned their ways and his magic aided him. He relies in that more than I can tell you Thor. With his primary sense gone, he uses his magic to sense beings, which was how he fought for so long. But now…”
Thor stared “What happened?”
Frigga swallowed “The void he fell into. It ruined his magic, mutated it somehow. He can still use it to sense things, but if he stays locked on them too long, it attacks them. He tries to control it and I think he is managing well, but it’s still dangerous”
Thor blinked and thought back to a moment.
We can do this … together…
Loki had stabbed him then.
And before that, his gaze had been fixed on Thor.
If there was a slightest possibility that Loki had hurt him to keep his magic from doing it, Thor was going to take it.
Thor licked his lips and nodded.
“You made these for him”
Frigga smiled “For years. He loves to read and I cannot let that be taken from him”
Thor felt a tiny smile curve his lips.
And he wondered what his mother had went through for Loki.
Thor stood and went to his mother, pulling her up into his arms and kissing her.
“I am” he kissed her hair “So proud of you”
Frigga laughed softly and held him tightly for a long time.
And neither moved.
When Thor finally had the courage to go to Loki again, he was relieved to see that his brother had the same snarl upon him he always did when he saw –
No, not saw.
When Loki sensed him.
Thor walked over to the cell and Loki looked up.
He was in the middle of the room, pacing as he read a book.
His eyes were focused on it, pretending to read and he snapped it shut.
Loki always snapped his books shut when he saw him, Thor had always thought it was his way of greeting him and giving him his full attention.
Now he wished that was the truth.
Loki turned to him, and again, Thor noticed how his gaze remained downcast as helistened to him, trying his best to figure out where Thor stood.
“Well” Loki scoffed “Have you come back for a reminder on how low are in the list that contains the names of people I long to meet? Or would you like to know how high you are in the list of those I want to kill?”
Everything Loki did, suddenly made sense.
If Thor spoke, Loki would get a better idea of where he stood.
And even though it broke his heart to take advantage of it, Thor refused to speak.
Loki seemed to tense a moment before he scoffed.
“Giving me the silent treatment?” he asked, again trying to get a response from him “I approve of this”
Thor kept his mouth shut and walked over, passing the barrier between them soundlessly.
He had taken off his shoes and he was in a simple tunic and trousers, not enough to make noise.
For a moment, Thor saw Loki panic.
If it was a killer or someone else, Loki would not have known where he stood and would have to wait for the first attack to get an idea of his bearings.
He took a step back and Thor took one forward.
“You are really stupid, Thor” Loki said, looking for him “If you think that I will…”
“Loki, enough” Thor said sadly “No more lies”
Loki frowned and looked at where his brother – no, not brother – Thor stood, giving him a smile.
“Lies?” Loki asked as he sneered
He couldn’t see him.
“And what lies could you refer to?” Loki asked sweetly “The lie of our brotherhood or the fact that…”
“What is the color of my tunic, Loki?”
Loki blinked, a confused expression on his face.
“What?” he snapped “You came here to ask me that stupid question?”
He scoffed “You’re more of a fool than I previously thought!”
Thor didn’t respond. He took another step closer.
“Humor this fool, then” he said “Tell me. What is the color of the tunic I wear?”
Loki blinked a few times and Thor could sense the nervousness around him.
“I don’t have time for your…”
“Loki” Thor cut in “Answer me”
Loki didn’t. He shut his mouth and opened his book.
“I will do nothing” Loki said, turning his gaze on the book before him “Leave me alone, Thor, stop mocking a criminal you obviously downed”
He hated what he was about to do.
“I would” Thor said “But it would be cruel of me to leave a blind man helpless in his cell”
The book fell from Loki’s grasp and his brother turned, facing him.
For once, his face was open, frightened and vulnerable as he looked for Thor.
“You …” Loki gasped “Have you lost … I am not blind!”
Thor had a glass of water in his hand and, he cursed himself, he hurled it at Loki’s face.
Loki gasped as the water hit him.
He had been unable to see it, so, unable to flinch away from it and now stood, wiping his eyes and face.
He’d been caught.
“You fool!” Loki shouted “Have you lost what small mind you, had, you …”
He broke off, inhaling sharply when two thick arms came around him from the side.
And Loki realized his mistake.
He had been talking to Thor while staring ahead.
Thor hadn’t stood there.
“You fool!” Thor sobbed into his shoulder “Why didn’t you tell me!?”
Loki had stilled.
His heart was racing in his chest, he could feel the pain of the movement against him, against Thor’s arm.
His mouth hung open a little and he didn’t know what to say after that.
Thor knew …
Something he had hidden for so long!
Loki took a shuddering gasp.
“Let me go, Thor”
Thor held on tighter and Loki began to push at him.
“Thor, I said let go!”
“Father agreed to free you”
“But there is a catch” Thor whispered, very softly “As much as I hate it, I want you out of this cell, Loki, I will do whatever I have to - to get you out.”
Loki swallowed, his anger forgotten at the moment.
“Thor” he whispered “What did you do?”
Thor held his brother, gave him a squeeze and rubbed his face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry” Thor whispered back “But Father said if you wanted to come out of this cell, your magic has … it has to…”
Loki felt the color drain from his face.
“I said no”
Loki struggled against him and managed to get out, stumbling back and turning to face Thor.
He couldn’t look at him, he never would, but somehow he felt better when he was staring at his direction.
“I will not!” he said “I would rather rot in here than to have my magic taken away!”
Thor knew this would be hard
“Loki, please” he pleaded “I don’t want you to be here alone”
“Why not?” Loki scoffed “You think someone will take advantage of me?”
He gave a high pitched laugh.
“Odinson” he sneered “I have been dealing this longer than you have known. I have fought battles, defeated enemies and ruined everything important to you. I can handle a few unruly prisoners.”
Then Thor felt something prickling up his arms and legs and realized Loki was using his magic to sense him.
He was right, because not a moment later, Loki turned his unseeing gaze to where he stood.
“Look at you” Loki scoffed, taking Thor in “The powerful Odinson, the soon to be heir of Asgard standing there, feeling sorry for the monster he brought to its knees”
Thor felt his throat constrict and he felt the prickling become painful.
Loki cut him off with a laugh.
“Will you bring me presents, Thor?” he asked “Get me a walking stick, a dog to help me walk along so everyone in Asgard knows how weak I am?”
Another wave of magic, angry, this time, sensed Thor and Loki could almost see him, feel his shake before him.
“You think just because you pity me, that I will listen to what pathetic attempts you made to save me?” he rasped “You will never save me, Thor, because I am perfectly capable of taking care of my…”
Thor’s pain filled shout cut him off and a moment later. The entire cell exploded.
Thor woke slowly, the sounds of a sunny day outside.
He could feel warmth against him and he could feel the bed under him as well, soft and firm.
He groaned, not wanting to open his eyes.
But he did, a moment later when he felt something soft brush his hair back over his face.
Thor looked up, from where he lay on his side, his eyes wide as he stared up at the person sitting beside him.
Loki didn’t move as Thor sat up.
His hair was sticking on end and he was staring at Loki, lookin him up and down for injuries.
There was a bandage around Loki’s wrist and forearm and one on his forehead, but other than that he was fine.
Thor was fine, too, in fact there was nothing wrong with him once he looked down at himself.
Loki sniggered “You are fine, Thor, worry not. Mother was very liberal with the healing.”
Thor blinked and looked at him.
“W- what happened?” Thor asked.
Loki shrugged “An explosion”
As though it was some random thing that Loki didn’t know the cause of.
He had caused it, he had tried to hurt Thor.
Thor’s mouth firmed.
“Are you alright?” he asked
“Yes” Loki lifted the arm for Thor to examine “See? Just a burn”
Thor hummed and sat back, the urgency and grief gone, replaced by irritation, perhaps anger.
“You are angry with me?” Loki asked.
Yes, Thor wanted to say.
But he remained silent and stood, feeling the room spin a little before he gained his balance and started to walk to the washroom.
Behind him, Loki sighed.
Thor had not seen them and for the moment, Loki was safe.
The bands around his wrists were tight against his flesh, a punishment for almost killing his brother and future king.
They held his magic back completely.
It was gone.
And it left Loki truly vulnerable.
He was about to be thrown into his cell, but Frigga had intervened, begged Odin to leave that decision to Thor.
For Thor had a good heart and Loki knew his brother would not throw him back.
Without his magic, there were things even Loki couldn’t control.
There were enemies after him, all of them angry and most of Asgard. They did not like what he had done and liked his punishment even less.
They were looking for a way to harm him and contrary to his actions, Loki didn’t want to be hurt.
And if he had his magic, he would not have been worried, but now …
Now he longed to be safe, he longed to be with someone he trusted and since Odin would never let Frigga near him, Thor was the next, logical choice.
The doors clicked open and Loki pasted a smile on his face.
Thor walked out, gave him one look and scoffed.
“Are you planning on trying to kill me again?”
Loki controlled the flinch that almost ran through his body and smirked.
Thor walked to the wardrobe and Loki extended his hand to the side of the bed.
His pale hand touched the stick he had so long used and he gripped it tightly, raking the floor with it before he stood and began to walk.
Thor heard the clicking and turned.
His expression became pained and he longed to pull Loki into his arms.
But the man had hurt him – again.
And it stung.
So Thor gave Loki his back and pushed a few clothes aside, moving to get the tunic and trousers he wanted before he took his bath.
“You won’t look at me?”
Thor felt Loki behind him and stopped. He bit his lip, allowing himself a moment of indecision before he began to work again.
Loki sighed from behind him.
“You won’t talk, either?” Loki asked “At least yell at me, Thor, get the anger out.”
Loki blinked and used his stick to look for Thor’s leg.
Thor sighed, getting irritated “Please what?”
“Look at me”
“Why?” Thor asked “So you can poke me in the eyes and laugh at me? I’m done with your tricks, brother, stop it”
Loki bit his lip to keep from sniggering and lowered his head.
“No, Thor, I just…”
“Just what?” Thor asked “You don’t need to look at me to…”
“Apologize” Loki said very softly.
Thor heard it, because he stopped.
His hands were still in the wardrobe and he turned, just a little to Loki.
“I want to tell you I’m sorry” Loki said “For what I did, for what I have done and will doubtlessly do to you in the future, I … I’m sorry”
Thor was looked at Loki over his shoulder.
There was nothing on his features that indicated he was tricking – but then again, Loki was the Trickster – in fact, there was nothing there, nothing other than an expression Thor had not seen on him for a long time.
Loki’s sightless eyes were focused on nothing but he the stick he held to Thor’s ankle alerted him of Thor’s movement.
“You …” Loki swallowed “Do you want a trophy for getting me to apologize?”
Thor stared and shook his head.
“If you are shaking your head, Thor, I can’t see it, remember? So you have to speak”
Thor swallowed and laughed, choking a little.
“Perhaps just an embrace” Thor said “just something we haven’t done in a long time”
The end of Loki’s mouth curved and he sighed.
“If I must”
Loki extended both arms and Thor smiled.
There were tears in his eyes, but he smiled.
He moved and pulled Loki into his arms, feeling Loki’s come around him.
Thor squeezed him closer, burying his face on Loki’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry” Loki whispered “I’m sorry”
“Hush” Thor cradled his head in one hand “It’s okay.”
Loki held on tighter and Thor could feel two thick tears drop on his shoulder where Loki had his head set.
“Thor, I swear if you let me go, I will…”
Thor laughed “Don’t worry, I won’t, now come on”
Loki was taking a walk in the gardens.
Thor was holding both his hands and making him walk on the grass as he stood before him, retreating with every step Loki took.
There were butterflies and flowers and Thor wanted to enjoy the sunlight.
Ever since that day, Loki had stuck by Thor like a shade.
Thor hadn’t minded, he had wanted this for so long.
Loki seemed to mind, even as he tailed Thor.
Often, the end of Thor’s tunic or cape would be held in one of Loki’s hand as he walked around with Thor.
The elder had ‘punished’ him, as he told Odin, to remain without magic until Thor told him otherwise.
Loki hadn’t asked for it back and Thor had not brought it up.
Instead, he had brought up a walk in the gardens and since it was new, Loki would need help.
The younger didn’t mind, so long as he had his stick, but after the first stumble, he had been very careful.
Thor had been doubly so and now walked on the smoothest grass, waiting to go where he had their picnic laid down.
Loki was grumbling the whole way through, calling Thor an idiot and calling him sentimental, but Thor knew Loki secretly liked it.
And it became apparent when Thor pulled him on the soft cloth and told him to sit.
He handed Loki his stick, which made Loki feel easier and then crossed his legs, looking at the flowers before them.
Loki turned to him.
“Will you recite poetry now?”
Thor chuckled “No. Unless you want me to. But then you would have to kiss me, because what is poetry without kisses?”
Loki sniggered and sat back, bracing himself on his hands “What indeed?”
Silence fell between them, but it was good, not like the one where Loki had stumbled and fell over the boot Thor had carelessly thrown, or when he had hit and tumbled the chair Thor had not put back or when Loki had stepped on a blade Thor had forgotten he had yet to polish.
Those were angry, this was nice.
And Thor realized that as he helped Loki see without seeing, Loki was turning him into a better man without asking.
“May I …” Loki hesitated, licked his lips.
They were sitting before Thor’s fireplace, having their dinner as it snowed in Asgard.
Loki had become a new feature in Thor’s now clean room and Thor realized he didn’t mind.
Not at all.
But he looked up when Loki hesitated.
Loki had never hesitated.
Thor frowned “What is it?”
Loki blushed and Thor couldn’t stop staring.
He had been doing it a lot.
Looking at Loki, memorizing him, his hands clenching with the need to feel something of Loki’s against himself, just something to get the feeling of Loki beneath his palms, perhaps his lips…
Loki cleared his throat and once again, Thor was grateful he couldn’t see.
“I was wondering” Loki whispered “May I … see you?”
Thor frowned and blinked.
Color heated Loki’s cheeks again
“Yes, I just …” Loki shrugged “The last time I saw your face was when you were leaving for Vanahiem, and you were younger – much younger. You had long blonde hair and eyes what shined like the sky itself, I just …”
Thor’s eyebrows raised slightly as Loki broke off.
“I wanted to see” Loki said “How you look”
Thor nodded “Of course. Uh – how?”
Loki gave a nervous chuckle
“You have to come here”
Thor skid over immediately and Loki sat cross legged.
“Sit before me”
Again, Thor obeyed and waited.
Loki raised his hands, clapping them on his tunic to get rid of the crumbs from his dinner and then lean forward.
“Don’t … don’t laugh”
Thor grinned immediately, but then sobered when Loki lifted his hands.
Loki held his finger tips against Thor’s face.
He touched his forehead with one hand.
“Hard headed” Loki announced “No shock there”
Loki brought his hand down, over Thor’s eyes and his nose, when he grabbed between two knuckles and shook.
“Okay” Loki laughed “I’m sorry! I’ll behave”
So Thor let him do it again.
Loki touched his cheeks
“A beard” he sniggered softly “How shocking and …”
He fingers went back up, tracing Thor’s eyebrows, his eyes, then the side of his face and to his jaw.
Tracing his chin, Loki moved up again.
“And these must be…”
“My lips” Thor whispered against Loki’s fingers
“Y – yes” Loki said , his voice low “S- so soft…”
Thor didn’t move and Loki didn’t pull back.
Loki used his middle finger to trace Thor’s mouth, his lips, the top one, slowly, taking in the shape, the outline, the part where his moustache ended and his smooth, pink skin began, then his lower, fuller lip, the plump, flesh, the sensitive…
Loki gasped as he felt those lips kiss his finger.
His heart started to race and he gulped, especially when he felt Thor lean closer.
His hand dropped lower, down the column of Thor’s throat, the sensual, slightly stubble filled neck, and the Adam’s Apple. It bobbed as Thor swallowed and Loki bit his lip when he felt Thor’s breath on his cheek.
He was too close
But Loki kept on going.
His eyes were closed and he touched Thor’s collarbone, the place between them.
Thor’s hands came around him, resting on his back and Loki let out a soft whimper when Thor’s soft lips landed on his cheek.
“Don’t stop me” Thor whispered “And don’t stop touching me”
Loki gasped, his head turning aside when Thor kissed his neck, just below his ear and a shudder went through him.
His hand travelled to Thor’s chest, to the chiseled muscles of his pectorals.
Thor was tense, and the muscles were framed harder, Loki would feel them in harsh relief against his fingers and he placed his hand flat on Thor’s chest, above his hammering heart.
Thor’s hands on his back were distracting and Loki fisted his own hand on the front of Thor’s shirt, pulling at the tunic.
Thor made a soft, short noise and a moment later, Loki was lying on his back on the rug.
“Thor, what are you…”
Thor was levered over him, Loki could tell.
He raised a hand to feel his face, then raked it through his hair.
Loki gasped as Thor’s mouth landed on his collarbone.
Loki held a strand between his fingers, pulling it a little.
“You cut it”
Loki swallowed as Thor’s hands went up and down his sides.
The clothes rustled and Loki felt his body heating up.
Thor was mouthing at his shoulder, his mouth damp and warm.
Loki could feel him tense and for a moment, he thought Thor was not going to move.
But then a kiss landed on his mouth and Thor pulled back
Relieved, Loki waited until Thor’s heat was gone from his body and he sat up.
His face was flushed and Loki rested his palms on them to make them cool down.
He looked in Thor’s vague direction.
And to Thor’s relief, he smiled.
And Thor knew things would never be the same again.
After that night, they found more and more reasons to be together alone.
And more and more reasons to touch.
Every time Loki handed Thor something, he lingered, his fingers caressing over Thor’s hand. Every time Thor maneuvered Loki away from an obstacle, his hand would drop, lower than his waist, lower than it was right.
Loki would lean into his, his useless eyes fixed ahead.
Every time Odin or Frigga looked at them, Thor would move away.
And every time he moved away, it would make Loki restless.
Neither knew when this change happened, when they started behaving like this, perhaps it had always been there, perhaps it was new, they didn’t care.
They silenced the forbidding voice in their heads and continued, laughing, smiling …
They kissed, it was something new and dangerous and Loki hadn’t been dangerous in a long time.
He huffed, the breath knocked from him as Thor pressed him into the wall and he moaned loudly when Thor snatched his stick and tossed it aside, pinning him back.
“You think…” Loki gasped “I am completely powerless without a weapon?”
They were in Thor’s room now, they spent most of their time there. The door was locked and they were free.
Thor pressed him back until Loki moaned and smiled “You like it when you are powerless.”
Loki’s arms were around Thor’s shoulders and his breath hitched when the elder lifted him up and placed his hands under his hips, his legs around his waist.
Loki pressed his knees into Thor’s sides and pulled him closer.
“I think” he whispered in Thor’s ear “You’re right”
Thor tipped his head up and kissed Loki, humming and closing his eyes.
His blood rushed through his ears and Loki moaned, pressing against him tighter.
“What is going on here!?”
Loki and Thor both gasped.
Loki shoved Thor off and Thor stumbled back, horror etched on both their features.
Loki couldn’t see and Thor hadn’t seen.
But Odin had.
He stood by the door, his face a mask of red rage.
The vein in his temple was hard against his face and Thor gaped, spluttering. He was at a loss.
“What” Odin rasped, taking a step forward “Are you two doing?!”
If there was one thing that truly frightened him, it was Odin. Not as a father, no, but as a King, a warrior.
And he took a step back, his hand looking for his stick.
“F- Father” Thor shielded Loki “I … we….”
“Move” Odin rasped.
Thor’s eyes widened “Father, please, Loki has nothing to do with this, punish me if you have to, but…”
Thor broke off as Odin took another step closer
“I said” Odin hissed, beyond furious, he was murderous “Move”
Thor was trembling, Loki could feel it as he stood behind him, and he wanted to protect Loki.
But it was too late.
Something boomed and a moment later, Loki cried out as Thor’s presence was taken from him.
A hand, hard and cruel, grabbed his wrist and Loki was yanked forward.
A loud gasp tore from him as Odin pulled Loki along.
“Thor!” Loki held an arm out for him, blindly searching “Thor!”
Thor’s voice came from somewhere but Loki didn’t know where and he felt tears spring into his eyes.
“No, stop!” he pleaded “Please, All Father, don’t do this!”
Odin didn’t listen and Loki stumbled behind him.
Thor was on the floor, groaning, from the blow Odin’s magic had given him.
He was stunned, dazed, and when he tried to move, he stumbled.
And that delay, no matter how small, ended up costing him too much.
Because the moment he gained enough coherence and looked up.
Loki was gone.
Thor had come here after a seven month search in Asgard, he searched his kingdom, left his father, ignored his mother, and searched.
He screamed a lot, too, angry, helpless.
And he cried at night.
He cried himself to sleep, or drank if he couldn’t bear it.
He wanted to see Loki, he wanted to touch him again.
He wanted his Loki.
But he didn’t find him
Vanahiem wasted more time.
There was nothing there for him, no one knew where Loki was, most of them hadn’t even known what he looked like.
Thor was alone.
Thor was scared.
So Alfhiem, it would be
Alfhiem was unfruitful.
Midgard had allies.
And Thor could finally wail in his agony.
There was nothing in Midgard.
He searched this debris until his hands were bloody from moving obstacles out of the way.
He wanted Loki
Thor fell into the snow and ice, sobbing.
There was no hope.
And his search in Svartalfhiem had been cut short.
Odin’s men had come for him, to drag him back, but he fought them off.
He fought them away and fell, he didn’t even know he could fall through realms like this, but he fell.
And he ran.
Then he hit the snow and ice and he knew he was lost.
This is where he would end, at the feet of Jotunhiem’s snow.
He was cold, he was hungry and he was miserable.
And he didn’t have Loki.
Thor’s heartbreaking scream broke through the skies and the winds swallowed the sound.
Snow crunched somewhere and Thor tensed.
He looked up, then around, searching.
His hand went to his hammer and he sat up, the gusts of wind slowing down as he stood, his eyes ready to kill the monster that approached him.
He could see it, several yards away, a furry thing, tall and slim.
It stared at him, as though unsure of what to do.
Thor’s hand tightened and the creature took a step forward.
“Halt!” he commanded “I may be trespassing, but I will not hesitate to kill you!”
The figure stopped.
“I am Thor Odinson” Thor said “And if you value your life, you will step back and go back the way you came. I have neither the patience nor the will to deal with you. Leave or I will kill you”
A scoff cut through the air and Thor froze.
The creature lifted its hands and lowered the hood on his face, the fur falling to reveal him.
“You really think I am that helpless, Thor?”
It was Loki
Thor sobbed into Loki’s neck, wailing as Loki held him tightly.
He was so different, his brother, so beautiful
They were on their knees, Loki in furs, Thor in love.
Thor kissed him over and over as Loki’s arms went around him, his clothes tight and warm as Thor kissed him on the cheek, the neck, his eyes.
Loki smiled as he closed one unseeing eye shut, his hands in Thor’s hair, a smile on his face.
Thor held him tightly, held his slender waist tightly, traced his arms, his back.
Then he shuddered.
“Let’s get you warmed up, darling”
Thor nodded, but he didn’t let Loki go.
Two years, it had been.
He groaned when Thor’s weight crushed him but he didn’t break off their passionate kiss, so involved was he in it, opening his mouth wider to let Thor’s probing tongue sneak in and mate with his own, to pin it down just like his own massive body was doing.
Loki gasped when Thor broke off and began to mouth his neck, licking his neck before rubbing his lips against it and kissing it.
He choked when Thor blew on it.
Thor chuckled and his other hand reached down between Loki’s legs and started to knead him.
Loki arched his back sharply and would have screamed had Thor not caught his mouth and pushed in tongue in as he gasped and panted.
Loki’s hands fisted in Thor’s clothes and he pulled, frustration and senses mounting as Thor continued to pleasure him, panting and writhing in his arms.
Thor chuckled “Eager little Trickster”
Loki had wanted to reply, he really had, but at that moment, Thor palmed him again and all that Loki could let loose was a tapering whine that spoke of his desperate need.
Thor’s other hand went to the hem of Loki’s tunic and he lifted it off, taking it over Loki’s head and tossing it over his shoulder.
He then started pulling off Loki’s trousers, looking up for confirmation.
“I’ll kill you if you don’t”
Thor sniggered and lowered them off Loki’s hips and off the bed they occupied.
Loki moaned softly at the feel of silk upon his skin and couldn’t help move, slither, against it.
It felt wonderful.
And Thor felt that little movement break him further.
He cupped Loki’s cheek, continued his palming and smiled when Loki gasped, fisting his hands and trying to focus even as his eyes went wide, even as he couldn’t see.
But he felt everything
“Hush” Thor kissed his slack mouth and pulled his hand around his shaft, giving it a squeeze “it will happen”
His hand started to pump Loki and his mouth took in every sound his surprised, red mouth made and soon, so soon that Thor laughed and Loki felt embarrassed, he felt the hit burst Loki gave and felt the slick around his hand signaling his release.
“That didn’t take long”
“Be quiet” Loki moaned, “it wasn’t … I was surprised”
“Right” Thor said dryly before kissing the back of his hands “now up. We need to move if you want to finish this”
“How romantic” Loki drawled but waited as Thor undressed himself
“Are you sure, Loki?” Thor asked, his face serious “we don’t have to…”
“I want to” Loki said, smiling at him “please”
He lifted his hips and felt Thor shudder when he touched his crotch.
“Please” Loki moaned, eyes large and pleading
Thor growled at him and lowered his head to kiss him once more.
Loki arched against Thor as that hand began to pleasure him again, giving him more than he thought he could ever take and taking everything he needed.
Thor’s mouth was fixed on Loki’s and he groaned as Loki’s hips moved with his hand as he prepared him, his fingers slick with oil and Loki’s spend.
He began to scissor is fingers, moving them inside Loki and touching a spot that made him keen and arch in pleasure, made him moan and gasp into Thor’s mouth before he pulled away to get air into his lungs.
It was difficult; especially with the way he was trapped under Thor, pressed into the mattress with his legs spread open for Thor to do as he pleased.
It was driving him insane.
Thor watched him as he lay, spread open before him, helpless and beautiful. He watched his reactions as he moved him, spread him and opened him for his taking. He watched the way Loki’s neck arched back and the way his toes curled in the sheets, he watched that red, soft mouth part on wordless screams and he watched the way his sightless eyes went wide and Thor realized he was mesmerized.
“Please” Loki panted “I’ve had enough … take me”
Thor didn’t know he was dying for those words until that moment.
At that gasp, he realized he’d wanted this as much as Loki did and he pulled his fingers out, looking at the passage that was probably still tight and looked to Loki again.
But the man was gone within his pleasure and Thor had no idea what to do other ran start to push within him.
Loki gave a sharp gasp and Thor pressed an open mouthed kiss to it, tilting his head to slot their mouths together, running his tongue inside to explore.
Thor spent long, agonizing minutes moving into Loki, filling him up slowly, so slowly because he wanted to keep from hurting him and he wanted to remember this forever. He was deep, so deep inside him, so natural with their skin against each other that he wanted more, he wanted to go deeper, to mark him and have him.
“Thor…” Loki whined from beneath him, as lost in his pleasure as Thor was.
It broke Thor.
He began to rut into Loki now, the pleasure burning him and startling Loki. His gasps got louder and for a moment, Thor thought he was hurting him. But then Loki’s legs came around his waist, his heels digging into his waist as he pushed him, in, took him deeper.
Loki threw his head back and gasped, panting loudly as Thor went on and on inside him, claiming him, marking him, giving him pleasure he didn’t think was possible anymore.
Even if he wanted to, Thor couldn’t stop.
Loki’s soft gasps and moans drove him on. He was so perfect, so pliant and so responsive that Thor didn’t realize he loved it until now.
He rammed into Loki, rocked him and marked him, never wavering in his rhythm and strokes.
And Loki arched against him, moaning his name, gasping and arching against him, pleading with him as he raked his slick skin with his nails.
And Thor heard him. Every moan, every slick, silky movement Loki made, every order he pleaded, Thor heard and obeyed. He moved within him, kissed his red mouth, turned it even redder, he marked his neck, his shoulders, chest, everywhere he could reach, he marked him.
The headboard banged against the wall and Loki gasped, raking Thor with his nails, clawing his back and leaving angry red marks behind, gasping and moaning as Thor moved inside him, pounding him into the bed with remarkable power.
Loki screamed and came over himself and Thor, making a huge mess before falling back on the bed, limp and panting, his chest heaving up and down as testament to his passion.
Thor moved within him, holding him to mark his arms as he thrust in and out of that body until his own release came and he fell on Loki after his bellow.
Pale arms wrapped themselves around him and Thor panted, listening to their heartbeat and their breathing as he let exhaustion take him over and he lay on Loki, content with his plaint partner.
His beautiful Loki.
Odin had not been pleased.
But Thor didn’t listen this time.
Loki was nervous, but Thor made him walk forward, made him stand before the throne, made him raise their arms high in the air, before all Asgard.
And Loki would be beside him.
Even if Thor had to fight everyone in Asgard, Loki would be beside him.
And he was.
A year after, Thor and Loki stood on the balcony.
To Asgard, they were brothers. Thor was King, Loki was his counselor.
In secret, they were lovers.
They loved each other, drove each other to heights of passion, made each other wild.
Loki felt everything Thor did to him and Thor saw.
He saw the change in Loki, he saw the change in himself.
They fought together, Thor trained Loki himself.
Frigga accepted their relationship from a distance, she was not keen on it, but she wasn’t against it.
Not like Odin.
Odin had changed.
Thor knew sooner or later that he would have to talk with his father about how ruthless and cruel he was to Loki.
He knew he would have to get Loki’s magic back to him.
There was nothing else left for him to do.
Well, there was one thing and Thor realized as his heart beat against his chest that he probably should.
Loki was standing beside him, his eyes closed.
He had his stick in one hand and he smiled softly at the breeze that played with his hair.
He had no idea of what Thor was planning, so Thor swallowed and reached out for Loki’s hand.
Loki’s smile widened.
He turned to Thor and opened his eyes.
“Didn’t we just do it, Thor?”
Thor laughed “Three times, if I’m correct”
Loki hummed in laughter “Can’t believe you kept count”
“How could I not?” Thor asked “When something so beautiful is within my arms, how can I not count how many times it has happened and thank the norns for each time?”
Loki blinked a few times then a blush came over his cheeks.
“Stop it” he smiled, turning away.
And he would have left but Thor’s hand tightened on Loki’s.
There had been a speech, there honestly had, but one look at that beautiful face and Thor forgot it all.
Loki stilled, a gasp catching in his throat.
He didn’t turn back.
“Marry me” Thor repeated, holding Loki’s hand on both of his “Be mine, before all Asgard, be mine. I love you, Loki, I love so you much nothing can take precedence over you. Everything you are, everything you do … I love. I love you. I will not, I cannot live without you so please”
Thor went down on his knees, Loki could feel it.
Thor kissed his fingertips.
“Marry me, Loki”
Loki swallowed and turned to him, looking at him without seeing him.
His mouth worked and Thor went pale, for fear of Loki saying no.
He would have ruined everything if Loki said no.
Loki turned as Thor entered, a nervous smile on his face.
It was strange because things had changed between them, again.
Everything had changed ever since Thor had asked him to marry him, since that day on the balcony.
The door locked and Loki felt a shudder go through him.
Thor looked imposing, no doubt, in his royal armor, his cape and crown.
He must look beautiful.
And Loki felt a sharp sense of loss at the fact that he couldn’t see him, that he couldn’t take the beauty in.
He would never know what his husband looked like and it made him sad.
Thor sensed what he was feeling and walked over, smiling as he pulled him into his arms.
Thor kissed his hair and Loki looked up at him.
He shook his head.
“Something has to be” Thor said “You’re crying”
Loki lifted his hand and wiped tears from his eyes.
He hadn’t known he was.
“Oh” he said, his voice shaking “I – I didn’t know”
He gave a nervous laugh.
“Well, it’s good to know these things are still good for something, then” Loki said “If it is just crying”
Thor raised a hand and tipped Loki’s head up.
“I love you”
Loki smiled “When have you ever told me otherwise?”
“Never” Thor kissed his lips “And I never will. You are special, but better than anyone I have ever been with or talked to or …”
He ran his fingers gently over Loki’s eyes, making them flutter shut.
Then he kissed them.
He liked doing that, Loki realized.
Thor kissed his eyes until they closed and then his mouth, his face – everywhere.
“Or seen” Thor said “but you have done better”
Loki opened his eyes again.
“You feel me” Thor whispered against his forehead “You feel who I am, you sense me, you love me like no one has ever done. You love me for me”
“I never said I love you” Loki smiled, kissing Thor back “You’re just assuming that”
Thor grimaced “I could always make you”
Loki sniggered “No you can’t”
“Yes, I can”
A moment later, Loki screeched as Thor hauled him over his shoulder.
He ignored Loki’s halfhearted struggles and laughs as he carried him to their bedchambers, closing the door behind him.
And he got to work.
And a few minutes later, Loki’s voice whispered how much he loved Thor, how much he needed him and how – if Thor wasn’t and arrogant little bastard – Loki would already have said it.
But then Thor wouldn’t have made wild, passionate love to him.
And if nothing else, Loki needed that.
Because at that moment, he convinced himself that yes, he could see.
That he could see Thor more clearly than anyone else in the realms.
And he was right.
For the first time in a long, long time…
Loki was right.