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Lifehack: Accidentally text the wrong person? Immediately put your phone on airplane mode and once it fails to deliver, delete the message.


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328060 notes / 6 years 5 months ago
Lifehack: Accidentally text the wrong person? Immediately put your phone on airplane mode and once it fails to deliver, delete the message.
lifehack: replace all your friends with vacuums
lifehack: don’t be a fucking prick
family gathering lifehack
bring a gayer communist than yourself to deflect attention
i get pleasantly surprised when a friend randomly decides to give me cute nicknames or call me by a shorter version of my name, like it makes me so happy u consider us close enough friends to do that… thank u friend
Steve harvey: name one thing that you eat? Me: booty Steve harvey: survey says! *booty 20 points* *steve harvey walks off stage depressed*
Running into a stranger at con cosplaying the same character as you
Fun Fact: I am VERY bad at hydrating myself. If I ever die unexpectedly it’s probably because I just forgot to drink water for a week. 
We know the government has too much power when they can close a fence and tell us nature is closed.
when a person makes this face:   ( ? , ? )
you know your pun has succeeded
I APOLOGIZE FOR SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING INTO A POLITICAL BLOG
13 Life Hacks/Tricks to Simplify Your Life #260
1. Work to be the kind of person you want to meet, and you’ll find that you become the kind of person others want to meet. 2. When you accept your flaws, nobody can use them against you. 3. Buy a world map shower curtain. You’ll become a geography expert from all the time you spend in the bathroom. ...