• submission Dungeons and Dragons d&d outofcontextdnd •
Critical failure. You kick yourself in the balls.

2077 notes / 5 years 10 months ago
Cleric: I cast Insect PlagueDM: Wow, I accidentally typed “Incest Plague”Ranger: A plague on just your household!
Critical failure. You kick yourself in the balls.
DM: You guys find yourself in a forsaken tundra Mage: Im going to build a snowman! DM: Roll Mage: *Rolls a 1 on d20* DM: Congratulations you’ve set the tundra on fire somehow
Would you be offended if I started looting?
DM: Ok, so the velociraptor is cuddling with you in your bed.
DM: “The orb of light begins to escape”Ranger: “I roll to seduce it”Ranger: *Rolls 20*DM: *Sighs heavily*
"I flirt with him" "…He rejects your advances" "I break his other leg."
A d100 is like a golf ball with bees inside of it.
So uh, your reflex is so low, you can get hit by still objects, but your fortitude is so high that if a venomous snake were to bite you, the...
Rogue: “It’s not stealing if you have the key.” DM: “But you stole the key.” Rogue: “What’s your p...
Player: I roll to see what the door is made out of. (*rolls a nat 1*) DM: You are convinced it’s made out of chocolate.
Dwarves are into S&M; stone and masonry