• submission Dungeons and Dragons d&d outofcontextdnd •
Critical failure. You kick yourself in the balls.

2077 notes / 5 years 6 months ago
Cleric: I cast Insect PlagueDM: Wow, I accidentally typed “Incest Plague”Ranger: A plague on just your household!
Critical failure. You kick yourself in the balls.
DM: You guys find yourself in a forsaken tundra Mage: Im going to build a snowman! DM: Roll Mage: *Rolls a 1 on d20* DM: Congratulations you’ve set the tundra on fire somehow
DM: Ok, so the velociraptor is cuddling with you in your bed.
Would you be offended if I started looting?
DM: “The orb of light begins to escape”Ranger: “I roll to seduce it”Ranger: *Rolls 20*DM: *Sighs heavily*
A d100 is like a golf ball with bees inside of it.
"I flirt with him" "…He rejects your advances" "I break his other leg."
So uh, your reflex is so low, you can get hit by still objects, but your fortitude is so high that if a venomous snake were to bite you, the...
Rogue: “It’s not stealing if you have the key.” DM: “But you stole the key.” Rogue: “What’s your p...
Dwarves are into S&M; stone and masonry
Player: I roll to see what the door is made out of. (*rolls a nat 1*) DM: You are convinced it’s made out of chocolate.