• Cleric: I cast Insect PlagueDM: Wow, I accidentally typed “Incest Plague”Ranger: A plagu... submission Dungeons and Dragons d&d outofcontextdnd •

Cleric: I cast Insect Plague
DM: Wow, I accidentally typed “Incest Plague”
Ranger: A plague on just your household!


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Cleric: I cast Insect PlagueDM: Wow, I accidentally typed “Incest Plague”Ranger: A plague on just your household!
Critical failure. You kick yourself in the balls.
DM: You guys find yourself in a forsaken tundra Mage: Im going to build a snowman! DM: Roll Mage: *Rolls a 1 on d20* DM: Congratulations you’ve set the tundra on fire somehow
DM: Ok, so the velociraptor is cuddling with you in your bed.
Would you be offended if I started looting?
DM: “The orb of light begins to escape”Ranger: “I roll to seduce it”Ranger: *Rolls 20*DM: *Sighs heavily*
A d100 is like a golf ball with bees inside of it.
"I flirt with him" "…He rejects your advances" "I break his other leg."
Rogue: “It’s not stealing if you have the key.” DM: “But you stole the key.” Rogue: “What’s your p...
So uh, your reflex is so low, you can get hit by still objects, but your fortitude is so high that if a venomous snake were to bite you, the...
"Please tell me someone has Diplomacy.""Nope. Just Intimidate.""I guess we’re gonna have Batman-style interrogation for everything."
(Our party is walking down a dark alley when the rogue hears a noise.) Rogue: I draw my rapier.Fighter: I put up my shield.Cleric: I prepare a spell.Monk: I set myself on fire. Bitch, get at me. (He had a feat.)