• submission Dungeons and Dragons Out of context d&d outofcontextdnd •
Would you be offended if I started looting?

2746 notes / 6 years 6 months ago
DM: Ok, so the velociraptor is cuddling with you in your bed.
Would you be offended if I started looting?
DM: “The orb of light begins to escape”Ranger: “I roll to seduce it”Ranger: *Rolls 20*DM: *Sighs heavily*
"I flirt with him" "…He rejects your advances" "I break his other leg."
A d100 is like a golf ball with bees inside of it.
Dwarves are into S&M; stone and masonry
Player: I roll to see what the door is made out of. (*rolls a nat 1*) DM: You are convinced it’s made out of chocolate.
So uh, your reflex is so low, you can get hit by still objects, but your fortitude is so high that if a venomous snake were to bite you, the...
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(Our party is walking down a dark alley when the rogue hears a noise.) Rogue: I draw my rapier.Fighter: I put up my shield.Cleric: I prepare a spell.Monk: I set myself on fire. Bitch, get at me. (He had a feat.)
"Please tell me someone has Diplomacy.""Nope. Just Intimidate.""I guess we’re gonna have Batman-style interrogation for everything."
"Can I give him a lap dance?" "How the hell would you give a centaur a lap dance?! -Our orc rogue arguing with the DM