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"Can I give him a lap dance?"

"How the hell would you give a centaur a lap dance?!

-Our orc rogue arguing with the DM



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1403 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
"Can I give him a lap dance?" "How the hell would you give a centaur a lap dance?! -Our orc rogue arguing with the DM
1403 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
“
DM: Ok, so the velociraptor is cuddling with you in your bed.
”
1431 notes / 5 years 11 months ago
“
Would you be offended if I started looting?
”
2746 notes / 5 years 10 months ago
DM: “The orb of light begins to escape”Ranger: “I roll to seduce it”Ranger: *Rolls 20*DM: *Sighs heavily*
8780 notes / 5 years 10 months ago
“
A d100 is like a golf ball with bees inside of it.
”
1228 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
"I flirt with him" "…He rejects your advances" "I break his other leg."
2180 notes / 5 years 10 months ago
“
Dwarves are into S&M; stone and masonry
”
1784 notes / 5 years 10 months ago
Player: I roll to see what the door is made out of. (*rolls a nat 1*) DM: You are convinced it’s made out of chocolate.
1437 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
“
Rogue: “It’s not stealing if you have the key.” DM: “But you stole the key.” Rogue: “What’s your p...
”
1874 notes / 5 years 11 months ago
“
So uh, your reflex is so low, you can get hit by still objects, but your fortitude is so high that if a venomous snake were to bite you, the...
”
4416 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
"Please tell me someone has Diplomacy.""Nope. Just Intimidate.""I guess we’re gonna have Batman-style interrogation for everything."
1405 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
(Our party is walking down a dark alley when the rogue hears a noise.) Rogue: I draw my rapier.Fighter: I put up my shield.Cleric: I prepare a spell.Monk: I set myself on fire. Bitch, get at me. (He had a feat.)
1265 notes / 5 years 9 months ago
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