• I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t hav... thoughts from the shower showerthoughts water based introspection showery contemplation just-shower-thoughts •

I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t have 2020 vision.


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509168 notes / 4 years 2 months ago
The laugh track in “How I Met Your Mother” would make more sense if it were two kids laughing, rather than a studio audience.
Why is miss Universe always from Earth?
If we enlarged our fingerprints and turned them into records they would probably play music.
Facebook is like our real life Pokédex for people.
The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.
Walking into a glass door is the best complement a window washer can get.
The expression “good for you” was ruined by sarcasm
If guns don’t kill people, and people kill people, then guns don’t save people, people save people. Therefore guns are not needed to save people.
I want a Disney movie where the main character can’t sing, where she sounds like a screeching owl and isn’t featured in any of the songs. But then, half way through the movie, she realizes she can rap like hell.
If a girl likes water she already likes 75% of me
When I was born they didn’t have the internet. Imagine how that’s gonna sound coming out of my mouth in 20 years
Most legends are just really old and famous rumors.