• I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t hav... thoughts from the shower showerthoughts water based introspection showery contemplation just-shower-thoughts •

I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t have 2020 vision.


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509168 notes / 3 years 8 months ago
When I was born they didn’t have the internet. Imagine how that’s gonna sound coming out of my mouth in 20 years
Most legends are just really old and famous rumors.
Every time archaeologists announce more evidence that dinosaurs really had feathers and wings, all I hear is, “We were wrong all those years ago, they’re dragons.”
Facebook is like our real life Pokédex for people.
The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.
Walking into a glass door is the best complement a window washer can get.
White trash is such a hateful phrase. I prefer the term “caucasian non-recyclables”
Without providing a thousand pieces of proof I wouldn’t be able to convince a single person that I saw Bigfoot, or was abducted by aliens. But I could convince a thousand people that I met Jesus or spoke to god, without providing a single piece of proof.
The Force Awakens is the first Star Wars movie to ever be the same number as its episode number.
More than 60 countries in the world annually celebrate getting rid of the British.
Pac-man was trapped in a maze of pill addiction, trying to outrun his demons before his lifestyle caught up to him.
At some point someone had a bath thought and invented the shower.