• A nickname for premature ejaculation should be “Spontaneous Cum-Bustin” thoughts from the shower showerthoughts just-shower-thoughts •

A nickname for premature ejaculation should be “Spontaneous Cum-Bustin”


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2051 notes / 4 years 9 months ago
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled on my phone
"False Information" spelled backwards is "false information"
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game
The people who preach abstinence as the guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy also believe in the Virgin birth.
Since bat wings are just skin stretched between elongated finger bones, bats fly through the power of jazz hands.
Warm beer and cold coffee are the same temperature.
"Fifty shades of grey" is considered a romantic story only because the guy is a billionare. If he was living in a trailer or in a shack somewhere in the woods it would be an episode of "Criminal minds".
When I have to fill in my childhood best friend’s name on security password protection questionnaires, I wonder if they put my name down on theirs.
Dora the explorer’s parents were extremely negligent
Roommate just hit me with this one: 50% of CANADA is the letter A
Nothing is ever on fire. fire is on things.