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Lets talk about what happens to child abuse survivors after they grow up.

Lets talk about “She’s such an introvert” and “I don’t know whats wrong with him.” and “Oh she’s probably making it up, she looks fine to me” and “But have you met his dad, he’s such a lovely guy.”

Lets talk about what happens when the people you are supposed to turn to, are the ones you are hiding from inside cupboards, under the bed, in locked bathrooms, inside the tub, under the desk.

Lets talk about confined places becoming a second home to you, about fighting the natural reflex to dive under there when your head feels like it is going to explode with memories.

Lets talk about not being able to tell if you are being abused, or if that is just how normal people have a relationship, about how abusive people can smell you like sharks can smell their prey.

Lets talk about bones that carry memories because they never healed properly, and parts of you that still ache because they were never seen by doctors or actually, by anybody.

Lets talk about never quite being sure of your decisions because you don’t know how you can begin to trust anyone.

Lets talk about “I did this because I love you.” and “One day you will thank me for beating you.”

Lets talk about turning the word ‘love’ into an ugly, terrible thing.

Lets talk about all the people who leave you because you are too damaged for them to understand and they don’t get why you can’t 'just leave the past in the past.’ and 'be normal’.

Lets talk about the panic attacks you still have in the middle of the night when your mind makes the mistake of dreaming.

Lets talk about all the stories you need to keep locked up inside you because you don’t want the world to know how broken you really are.

Lets talk about the demons that aren’t just inside your mind…but in your reflection when you see your abuser’s eyes look back at you, the cruelest joke of all time.


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1322 notes / 4 years 8 months ago
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