I wish people would stop asking me where I think I’m going to be in 5 years. I don’t have 2020 vision.
I play the Sims to escape reality and live impossible fantasies—like having a house and job.
Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
It took me 23 years to realize that “be there or be square” is because you’re not a-round.
I always forget the existence of pears until I see or hear one getting mentioned.
Why don’t jedis turn off their opponents lightsabers by force pressing the button?
If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”
The word “nun” is just the letter “n” doing a cartwheel.
If you replace the “W” in Where, What, and When with a “T”, you answer the question
The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.
If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
What really blows my mind is that NASA is able to receive data from a 4.67 billion miles far away spacecraft, while i lose wifi signal once i move to the kitchen
I wonder what people who write “u” and “ur” do with all their extra time.
If you rip a hole in a net, there’s actually fewer holes in it than it was before
Why are girls embarrassed when in a bra and underwear yet eager to be in an even more revealing bikini?
Reading is just staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating
Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
7 billion people experienced this day in a different way