• thoughts from the shower •
21 “you’re so young” 22 “you’re so young” 23"you’re so young" 24 “you’re so young” 25 “are you married? how is your career?”
The people who preach abstinence as the guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy also believe in the Virgin birth.
"Fifty shades of grey" is considered a romantic story only because the guy is a billionare. If he was living in a trailer or in a shack somewhere in the woods it would be an episode of "Criminal minds".
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
Instead of .ca Canadian websites should end with .eh
“umop apisdn” is “upside down” spelled upside down with different letters of the alphabet.
Jesus’ first miracle was bringing alcohol to a party.
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled on my phone.
Nothing is ever on fire. fire is on things.
Both “God” and “Devil” are a single letter away from that which they represent: Good and Evil
Dora calls herself an “explorer,” but travels exclusively through mapped territories
The Lenny Face ( ?° ?? ?°) is “That’s what she said” in emoticon form.
The brain is the only organ that knows it’s an organ
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game
4 guys steal $100,000,000 in gold and diamonds, people think they should make a movie about the heist. 4 guys steal $120 from you while walking home, people want them put away for 20 years.
If the new Star Wars movie sucks J.J Abrams will forever be know as Jar Jar Abrams in the Star Wars Community
Your DNA contains millions of years worth of software updates.
Apple could make something like Google Glass, but just for one eye, and call it the iPatch.
Warm beer and cold coffee are the same temperature.