21 “you’re so young” 22 “you’re so young” 23"you’re so young" 24 “you’re so young” 25 “are you married? how is your career?”
Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for wa...
“Leaving me is ok, people leave me all the time. But what hurt the most was you made me feel so special yesterday yet today you made me feel ...”
“Sometimes I just get so damn sad, for no apparent reason other than I simply don’t want to be here anymore.”
Humans are the only animals on earth that pay to live here.
If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb” is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced “boom”?
Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.
"Queue" is just "Q" followed by 4 silent letters.
In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.
1990 is as far away as 2040
Technically speaking, I have no proof I’m not immortal
It’s strange how the the brain doesn’t register a second ‘the’ when written next to another ‘the’.
It’s weird that Texas Instruments makes calculators and not, like, banjos or something
The President of Russia should have a home in Prussia. The Russian President would be a Prussian Resident.
All pets have Stockholm Syndrome.
I have never once hit the space bar while watching a YouTube video with the intention of scrolling halfway down the page
Now that cellphones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again.