21 “you’re so young” 22 “you’re so young” 23"you’re so young" 24 “you’re so young” 25 “are you married? how is your career?”
Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for wa...
“Sometimes I just get so damn sad, for no apparent reason other than I simply don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Leaving me is ok, people leave me all the time. But what hurt the most was you made me feel so special yesterday yet today you made me feel ...”
Come here. Crawl into my bed in nothing but your underwear and a oversized shirt. Let me hold you. I’m craving to find out what your skin feels like when it’s against mine. Talk to me until you fall asleep, and when you close your eyes and start to doze, I will kiss your forehead gently ...
Now that cellphones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again.
Shouldn’t necrophilia be called “sexual intercorpse?”
Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.
Pizza delivery drivers should drive around with a bunch of warm pizzas and we should be able to flag them down like a taxi to buy a pizza
While a picture may be worth a thousand words, a movie is usually only worth half of a book.
It’s weird that Texas Instruments makes calculators and not, like, banjos or something
1990 is as far away as 2040
Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.
Humans are the only animals on earth that pay to live here.
The President of Russia should have a home in Prussia. The Russian President would be a Prussian Resident.
If there is an infinite number of universes, then we are probably dating in one of those universes.
Technically speaking, I have no proof I’m not immortal