Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for wa...
“Leaving me is ok, people leave me all the time. But what hurt the most was you made me feel so special yesterday yet today you made me feel ...”
Come here. Crawl into my bed in nothing but your underwear and a oversized shirt. Let me hold you. I’m craving to find out what your skin feels like when it’s against mine. Talk to me until you fall asleep, and when you close your eyes and start to doze, I will kiss your forehead gently ...
Humans are the only animals on earth that pay to live here.
"Queue" is just "Q" followed by 4 silent letters.
Technically speaking, I have no proof I’m not immortal
Now that cellphones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again.
Shouldn’t necrophilia be called “sexual intercorpse?”
While a picture may be worth a thousand words, a movie is usually only worth half of a book.
If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb” is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced “boom”?
In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.
It’s weird that Texas Instruments makes calculators and not, like, banjos or something
The President of Russia should have a home in Prussia. The Russian President would be a Prussian Resident.
It’s strange how the the brain doesn’t register a second ‘the’ when written next to another ‘the’.
What if extra-terrestrial doesnt come visit earth because they’re light years away and fear the dinosaurs they see.
"It isn’t" and "It’s not" are the same three words, just contractionalized differently.
Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.